Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
