apparently the secret to your success is patron
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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