I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
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