Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize