on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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