I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
