Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Randomize
