No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Randomize