At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Just invented taco cereal.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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