I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
there is glitter all over my balls
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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