I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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