"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
You need Xanax blowdarts
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Randomize
