I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
i think im in europe. pls send help
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
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