well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
