Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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