it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
