so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
