STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
