girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
