we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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