There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
My dick has a subreddit
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
FUCK WHALES
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
