I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize