stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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