hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
