Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
