her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
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