Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
