Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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