We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
