I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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