trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Let's get the cat blown out
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
