I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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