He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
