so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
