New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
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