I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
