1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
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