OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
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