It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize