none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
