All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Randomize
