I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
