I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
