marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
