At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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