Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
