Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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