if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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