It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize