ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Sorry my hands just texted you
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
