Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
im holly from the hills drunk
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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