you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Randomize
