I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
