i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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