hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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