If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
