We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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