in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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