I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
